statesDecember 25, 2008 1:30 am
Though it doesn’t feel like it’s already here, Merry Christmas to all!
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"I want to grow up and be my own man."
"I don't want to be a man, I want to be alive."
"I sent your cellophane that Spanish was coming."
"You have a nice head...cranial structure."
"When do you not have a comment on something?"
"Then I asked for a carnival."
"Brain"
"Your left earlobe."
"No Quilt, No Life."
"Let's Play a Friendry Game of Darts."
"Relationships are so 20th century, prostitution is the future."
"Lucky Charms is teaching little kids to steal from Irish midgets. I mean, Irish midgets have feelings too."
"Japanese cartoons teach loyalty, friendship and all that crap."
"Did you know...I mean, I'm going to tell you that..."
"I just told you that..."
"What, are you the only one allowed to make bad jokes?"
"Let's kick this puppy."
"Let's blow this popsicle stand."
"Ka-blouw!"
"Screw recycling, I hate the environment."
"Women shouldn't be doctors."
"National Founding day is a holiday where they find things."
"I've always wanted to be a seeing-eye dog."
"I'M NOT GOING TO DIE IN THIS BUILDING!!"
"I'm not a girl."
"Al Gore hadn't invented shoes yet."
"Curves are cool."
"Planet: A body of earth surrounded by sky."
"It's best to kill the deer when it's sleeping."
"Is Jim the cute one?"
"Go to Kenya and build jungles."
"Special Mai."
"Lookin' goot."
"It means, 'throw the ball at the guy with the stick.'"
"Your feet stink."
"Armageddon is coming...eventually."
"Irish midgets will seek revenge."
"Let's go Dutch."
"I was robbed by two men."
"You drive me crazy!"
"Leave me alone."
"I can't stand the sight of you."
"Hasta la vista, Baby."
"Take anything you want."
"Spare me my life!"
"I love heated seats, they keep my buns toasty."
"Hey, go get me some toilet paper."
"That's umpossible."
"I saw the pictures, you didn't go skiing."
"Bow to your sensai."
"Everything's a tee-shirt."
"Jesus loves France too."
"My legs might be short but they are brutal."
"I don't think I could date a girl with no arms."
"Hey, kids! I can draw a butt!"
"Be quiet, you boy."
"Gimmie some skinny pants."
"Sweetie...I'm gay."
"You suck at that emotion."
"I don't like listening to music that doesn't pertain to my life. That's why I listen to 50 Cent."
"If you die there, I think you'll go to hell 'cause you're already halfway there."
"I would so swim across the Pacific ocean for a cookie."
"Is this the hill country?"
"It's a national sport in France, Baby!" *whack*
"Dear God, thank You for this pizza. Bless it to our bodies, if that's possible."
"He couldn't have been with her anyways because he would have been dead if he were alive."
"Call me in person."
"I'm in the raw."
"Wow, that's a lot of sheep." [2 seconds] "Wow, that's a lot of sheep."
"What are we murdering?" "A child."
"Jackson 5"
"Daphne"
"You'd never want to see overweight cheese in a bikini."
"Who cares about those other parts of the world, they are inferior."
"Dude, that guy's loaded."
"I eat lightening and crap thunder."
"You're not who I thought I was."
"I'm a manly man. That's cute."
"That's why our computers get so warm...'cause we're so hott."
"Today I feel...fat."
"We had butt loads of chocolate chip cookies."
"Two wrongs don't make a right but if you eat enough soup it will taste like chicken."
"The red pen plus the green one equals rubber gloves."
"With every cork you need the sun."
"I don't agree with most of what you say."
"I'll lick your face but I won't put your pillow in the water fountain."
"Cheese clings."
"I have a hug that fits your shape."
"K, your hair is a beautiful ocean of dead seals."
"In which case the bucket will not have been kicked."
"NOTHING!!!"
"Awkward"
"You're speaking illegibly."
"That isn't at all similar at all."
"I feel like military."
"You just denied me my sneeze. Jerk."
"Gee, I am a loser"
"Not the brightest cookie in the tool shed."
"You're a funny gun."
"You need someone to give you a nice backrub down."
"K, I would never trade you for a lightsaber."
"Sheber Weber"
"I'm a rapper and I didn't even know it."
"I forgive you; your tongue makes up for it."
"Oh my gosh! Pay inside lift handle!"
"I don't know...well, I don't know...well, I don't know...I don't know what's happening."
"Well, she spit updown."
"Tunnel vision helps me focus."
"I have a crush on every boy."
"Wherever I am, I'm there."
"When I was growing up you went to hell for that."
"I bit myself."
"I wait hating."
"BEIGE!!!"
"Borg Jesus: A New Vision"
"It makes it look like a spider is attacking your butt."
"Whatever! You love my weird things!!"
"Does ex-girlfriend mean extreme girlfriend?"
"If Jenny was a friend of mine..."
"If someone comes into my 18" bubble, either kick me or kiss me. You better be busting some slob or chops."
"I'm a man man you're a little man. When I'm dead and gone, you can take my man."
"They are reading out of their mind and making us go out of ours."
"You'll have to recharge your fist because your magic is naked."
"I’d acquired a taste for niquor and licotine."
"Put down the munker [marker]."
"You can't question me, I'm captain of the Bible Quiz team."
"The Bible says don't toot your own horn. I don't want anybody to toot."
"But I love you more than I hate it."
"Every now and then your butt looks camouflaged."
"It hurtens every time I straight it."
"The scars in your eyes light up the sties."
"Is the steering wheel hot?" "Yes. But I'm hotter."
"By the time it's noon, they're already in college."
"You might be mathematically smart, but you are everything else challenged."
"Soon you will have no ish."
"It'll be okay."
"Lottle"
"Me three"
"I want you to stay here so I can constantly admire your leather pants."
"You'd hit an armed manned person?"
"You wouldn't abuse me in the public eye." "I wouldn't abuse you in the private eye."
"I was giving everybody time to say 'goodnight' to the rat."
"Have you ever laughed so hard that you threw up just a little bit in the back of your throat?"
"Cats are slow whether they're stalking their prey or not."
"I'm sighing at the giant werewolf."
"You're just trying to make me crawl through another room."
"And then there were three in the pool."
"If I had multiple wives, you'd be my favorite. And you can quote me on that."
"It's a girl's world, boys are just walking in it."
"I don't like the name of my shampoo." "What's it called?" "Long-Term Relationships."
"Nothing. Nothing at all."
"Friends...they'll love you when no one else does."
"I just want to make a new rule for this world, for people to stop killing.... stuff."
"We go together like keys and parrots."
"I want to meet her in real-person."
"I always want to makeout with something."
"Pizza Hut hit me with a truck." "We like them."
"Is that where the pirates are?" "Yes, Chloe."
"But I'm seven!"
"Why you be hatin' on my house?"
"F.Y.I. = Forward, you idiot!"
"A.S.A.P. = Actually start accelerating, please."
"I had to get rid of the tickles!"
"My inner thi-i-i-i-igh..."
"First gear is like wiping your butt; nobody enjoys it but it's just something that has to be done."
"Just realizing how relieved I am to see my old pig again."
"What time should I set my alarm?" "North west." "What time is that?" "An hour before it."
"You gonna eyeline my line. . .eyes?"
"I love it when things that need each other end at the same time." "We'll have to try to die together."
"I don't want to live! I want to pee!"
"The opposite of faith is not doubt, it's proof."
"Don't ever show me that one."
"Every crush has a boy on you."
"Love is Asian. . .it does not boat (or burst), it is not round."
"You should have painted your bottom black."
"I'm already a Superhero, I go to PCC."
"Peanut Butter is a bad word. Pea. Nut. Butt."
"Dragon"
"He knows nothing about t.v. shows. Or girls."
"It's your turn." "To what?" "To float."