InspirationsOctober 6, 2008 11:26 pm
Bitter
Acidic
It eats at my soul
Devouring my innocence
Drowning me in sorrow
Filling me with malice
Nothing good
Can come of this
InspirationsOctober 4, 2008 10:59 pm
Hello
Old "friend"
I remember you
This dull ache
The shattering of
My heart
It hasn’t been long
Since we last met
Must you visit so often?
And stay so long?
Next time
Do us both a favor
And pass me by
Daily Life, InspirationsSeptember 1, 2008 5:25 pm
5 years ago today is when Jason and I became Us. True, there was a year or so when we weren’t officially Us but I think all throughout that period we never really let go of each other. Of course it isn’t always perfect, but I can’t and don’t want to imagine life without him. Our relationship has been such an amazing blessing and I’m so thankful for our mere five years. I look forward to our forever shared future.
States, InspirationsMay 1, 2008 10:18 am
Happy May Day! When I was growing up (okay, I know I’m still growing, but you know what I mean) my mom, brother and I would celebrate May Day. After buying a bunch of flowers, we’d make makeshift vases with handles out of construction paper. Then we would go to different people’s houses (mostly from our church), hang the vases on their doorknobs, knock on the door and then run away before they came to the door. I miss those traditions.
Yes, I am. And these are just my short-sleeved shirts.
日本, InspirationsApril 10, 2008 12:43 am
Fragile petals, let loose with each gust of wind
My hopes and dreams take flight
I’m soaring
My hopes and dreams take flight
I’m soaring
High above the clouds
Nothing can touch me
I’m free
Nothing can touch me
I’m free
March 30, 2007
InspirationsApril 2, 2008 10:22 pm
I’m a pessimist. But over the last few days I’ve focused a lot of attention on trying to change that. Part of that effort is not getting annoyed/angry at stupid situations, especially ones that I have virtually no control over. In an attempt to get over myself, I’ve decided that I will laugh at myself as much as possible. And laugh at a situation that I would have previously gotten angry over. It’s been wonderfully refreshing.
InspirationsMarch 31, 2008 11:20 pm
Going through an old notebook that I carried with me in Japan I found these poems in random spaces. They’re not my favorite ever but I didn’t want to lose them in the shuffle of moving stuff around. Yesh…
March 22, 2007
Burn the edges of my heart
Drown the sorrow ’till it’s numb
Ignite the flame when it’s time
No feeling…senseless
Guarding me from pain
lock it away
Deep inside
Where no one can see it
Time to say goodbye
And my heart shatters again
I could cry, but what good would it do?
It wouldn’t take away the pain
let’s raise a glass to heartache
* * * * * * * * * *
March 23, 2007
And if I told You that "the sun won’t rise tomorrow
We’ll soon be underwater
Oxygen won’t give us life
the flame won’t burn
and my heart has died"
would you believe me?
What if I told you that
My love has flown away,
I’m hollow; empty; Numb
Goodbye
* * * * * * * * * *
April 21, 2007
Stupid desire
Something so beautiful
How can it become so vile?
Take this heart of mine
Silence the voice
Home soon
Trouble follows
InspirationsMarch 23, 2008 10:02 am
Sometimes
I miss that age of innocence
When all was new and pure
When the world was mine to have
Sometimes
Sometimes
I feel ashamed at what I’ve done
To hide my face and take it back
That’s all I long for
Sometimes
Sometimes
I wonder at Your love
How you could forgive one
Such as me
Sometimes
Sometimes
My burden feels so heavy
I just want to give up
But You are there
Every time
InspirationsMarch 22, 2008 10:52 pm
There are no words.
My new favorite shirt.
I’m such a pessimist.
♥♥ But it’s okay because I have this guy ♥♥
InspirationsMarch 6, 2008 7:07 pm
Sunsets? I love stopping on the side of the road and taking pictures of sunsets. This is one of many taken today on the way to school.
Sometimes my God makes my heart sing…
InspirationsFebruary 1, 2008 11:58 am
This is what my rear windshield looked like on my way to school last night. Rain swept across the freeway and since my back windshield doesn’t have a wiper, I couldn’t see anything but vague blurs of light when looking through it. It was really scary when I had to merge into another lane. But God is good and He kept me safe as I drove. Granted I arrived 10 minutes late to class but even then I made it to class right when the teacher asked if anyone’s name hadn’t been called. I guess I wasn’t really late then. w00t for answered prayers. And happy February, everyone.
InspirationsDecember 25, 2007 12:00 am
Merry Christmas, everybody. I hope you have a blessed day and enjoy what little we have left of 2007.
So it turns out we didn’t do the 30-hour drive; it only took us about 22 hours from L.A. to Abilene. We arrived at about 5 am PST (making it 7 am here). Driving through Arizona (on my shift) Dad took lots of pictures of the gorgeous sunset (quite reminiscent of a sunset I took pictures of two years ago on this same trip). Our God is amazing.
InspirationsDecember 10, 2007 9:40 am
Another oldie but goodie (in my opinion, anyway). This was written on April 7, 2005 during a very boring Chemistry class (wait, that’s kind of redudent…anyway):
Sweet desire
Tired pages
Frayed edges
Scattered thoughts
Wanting freedom
Dying inside
Slowly dying
Love lost
And found
Your lips
Against mine
Kiss me,
You fool
InspirationsDecember 8, 2007 12:59 am
When the one thing I’m thinking
Is the one thing I want to forget
…
Time waits for no one
It marches on
Regardless of what
It’s marching towards
Sleep is a false escape
Nowhere can I run
One day it will come for me
Here’s hoping
That I’ll stand strong
And not shatter
Under pressure
I’m not a pansy
After all
InspirationsDecember 2, 2007 10:13 pm
I’m rarely hit with the inspiration to write poetry. These four poems are from at least 2 years ago and I’m still proud of them.
[Untitled]
Eyes unseeing
Ears not hearing
I feel so dead
In this shell of mine
Hollow, empty
Please come save me
You say you’ll help
But I’ll be fine
You try to catch me
Hold my hand
But my eyes are closed
And I’m gone again
I’m slowly fading
I’ll soon be gone
My eyes are closing
Goodbye, the end
_______________
[Fly]
I’m running from myself
Hiding from my pain
Hoping that I’ll win
And in the end I’ll gain
Lose myself forever
Never to return
Captivate my sorrow
May my soul not burn
My time is almost up
The wick is running low
I’ll spread my wings to fly
And up my spirit shall go
___________________
[Up]
Draw me close
Let me go
Keep me young
Help me grow
Give me freedom
Not too much
On my own
But still your touch
This world: so large
And me so small
In your embrace
I conquer all
Mommy’s sugar
Daddy’s tea
Your little girl
I’ll always be
___________________
[Duet]
We sit in silence
Our heartbeats speaking
A language we cannot comprehend
But we understand each other
From my brokenness
You found beauty
From my sorrow
You found joy
Now, as I sing to the heavens
I can smile because I know
You are looking down on me
And singing as well
My heart hurts. I cried (and am crying) today because I miss her so much. She’s growing up without me. And I ache.
Just a few pictures of my precious girl:
